By Bella Douglas
I don’t think that there is a right way (or even a wrong way) to mourn a relationship. Breakups are rough. Unfortunately, most people will experience their fair share of them.
When I was going through my first real heartbreak, I came across a paragraph I loved in the book It by Alexa Chung. I found it incredibly comforting. Here it is below:
With experience, sage advice from my mother, and plenty of self-help books, I’ve compiled a list of 7 tips that everyone going through a breakup should read. They may not cure your heartbreak, but hopefully, they’ll make it a little more tolerable.
- It’s going to suck. I’m not going to tell you otherwise. There’s no reason to pretend breakups are easy. It’s unhelpful and damaging to pretend otherwise. Some days will be okay, and other days (a lot of them — especially at first) you will literally want to crawl into a hole and die. It’s best to accept the rollercoaster of emotions (or perhaps lack thereof) that are bound to come your way.
- It is imperative that you focus all your energy on something productive. The last thing you need right now is to downward spiral.
- It’s going to be REALLY easy to fall into old habits. Avoid this at all costs. If this means cutting off all communication with your former significant other and blocking their number, so be it. Put yourself and your sanity first.
- Find comfort in your friends. Sure they might not want to hear every detail of your breakup saga, but if they’re good friends, they will want to be there for you anyway.
- TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. This relates to number 2, but it needs to be reiterated because it’s incredibly important. Being a potato for months on end will be tempting. That’s the opposite of what you need. Take hot showers. Pamper yourself. Do what you can to feel good about yourself, even though it might feel impossible at first. It’s also important to let yourself feel your full spectrum of emotions, the ugly ones included. You’re allowed to be angry and to be sad and miserable. You’re also allowed to feel nothing. As I stated earlier, there is no right or wrong way to mourn a relationship.
- Just because the timing isn’t right at the moment doesn’t mean it won’t be. You don’t know where you guys are going to be in 6 months, a year, or even 5. They could still be your person. However, maybe they aren’t. And that’s okay too. You heal by finding peace with the uncertainty.
- Tomorrow will be kinder, and if it isn’t, there are countless tomorrows after that. Just because it isn’t your season right now doesn’t mean it won’t be soon.